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Age
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You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
-George Burns
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By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
-George Burns
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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
-George Burns
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
-George Burns
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
-George Burns
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How can I die? I'm booked.
-George Burns
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Authors & Writing
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
-George Burns
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Family
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-George Burns
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Future, The
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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
-George Burns, At age 87; he lived to be 100
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Government
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
-George Burns
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Hollywood
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If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
-George Burns
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Humor
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
-George Burns
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Learning
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
-George Burns
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Life
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Life's but a day at most.
-George Burns
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Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
-George Burns
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Passion
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I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
-George Burns
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Retirement
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
-George Burns
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Sex
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
-George Burns
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
-George Burns
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Books by and about George Burns