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Advertising
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Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
-Ogden Nash
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Age
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
-Ogden Nash
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Alcohol/Alcoholism
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Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
-Ogden Nash
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Animals
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The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.
-Ogden Nash
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Charity
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
-Ogden Nash
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Chocolate
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If some confectioners were willing
To let the shape announce the filling,
We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs,
Bitten into and returned to the box.
-Ogden Nash
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Conscience
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I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
-Ogden Nash
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
-Ogden Nash
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Diets and Dieting
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How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!
-Ogden Nash
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Dogs
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
-Ogden Nash
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Family
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A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
-Ogden Nash
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Forgiveness
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Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
-Ogden Nash
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Grief, Grieving
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No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.
-Ogden Nash
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Happiness
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The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
-Ogden Nash
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Hope
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Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
-Ogden Nash
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Insects
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Some primal termite knocked on wood;
and tasted it, and found it good.
That is why your Cousin May
fell through the parlor floor today.
-Ogden Nash, The Termite
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Life
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
-Ogden Nash
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Marriage
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A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
-Ogden Nash
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A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.
-Ogden Nash
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There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.
-Ogden Nash
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To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
-Ogden Nash
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Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.
-Ogden Nash
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If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
-Ogden Nash
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Men & Women
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I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
-Ogden Nash
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Money
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
-Ogden Nash
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Books by and about Ogden Nash