Here are some poems I wrote pretty quickly, sorry if the commas and periods are a little weird, I don't usually write with them. I just, write... so i'm not very sure where to put them. I'm also only 12, so they might not be very good. Well, here goes!

Nature and it's Life

As I sit in my open window
Watching the orange sunset,
I cannot help but love,
Nature and it's life.

I listen to my music
As I imagine this life.
I see rainforests and oceans,
all are a beautiful painting.

I picture a rain storm
And it's wonderful show.
I hear calm rain drops
as they land on green.

I visualize the rainforest,
I can see it's life.
There are trees and vibrant plants,
tropical birds and animals near.

I now hear a big wave crash
and it sends it's water onto the shore.
I see very colorful fish
all slowly swimming back to the blue.

The sun now finishes it's setting,
some stars slowly begin to appear.
Even through these words written
I still cannot explain
how much i feel love,
For nature and it's life.

Storm

The gray clouds
slowly begin to settle,
chosing a location,
worthey of the magic.

The rain soon falls,
And it waters all and any.
Little drop settle
and enjoy the falling pleasure.

The sky lights up
As electricity desides to travel.
Skys then turn purple,
too beautiful to paint.

Soon the clouds laugh
Making loud thunder,
Hoping they have frightend none
With their beautiful show.

Hope you liked them!

~*margaret*~

Hmm... well I personally like the second one better. There's nothing like a good thunderstorm after a hot day to take the humidity out of the air. Unless of course you're from Georgia and in that case, the temperature and humidity only rise after a rainstorm. It's just not normal I tell ya!

The gray clouds
Slowly begin to settle,
Choosing a location,
Worthy of the magic.

The rain soon falls,
And it waters all and any.
Little drop settle
And enjoy the falling pleasure.

The sky lights up
As electricity decides to travel.
Sky then turn purple,
Too beautiful to paint.

Soon the clouds laugh
Making loud thunder,
Hoping they have frightened none
With their beautiful show.

These few corrections are the only ones I've seen. I also chose to capitalize all the first letters because at the end you have all four lines capitalized. Now if you had meant it to be like, 4 3 2 1 or something, then I probably would have left it that way, just because it's interesting that way. (oh and capitilizing the 'i' in the first poem that you left lowercase. Well... Before I forget...

Welcome to Quoteland. Be careful it's fun.

And I don't think age matters that much, but practice makes perfect, as does reading and responding and 'taking it all in'. Oh, and as one of my favorite authors wrote, there is no one 'true' way. (at least i think that's what she said!) Thanks for sharing, I can't wait to see more from you.

Harv

"To die, to sleep --
To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause; there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life."
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet

buen provecho

parecen las estrellas del cielo
click here!



[This message was edited by Harv on 07-06-02 at 12:46 AM.]

Well, seems like harv here got all of the corrections down, as always. I also agree that the second poem was better. For the first one, I don't like it just because I disagree 'kinda' , I mean when I look out my window I see a big tree, and black top. Not a lot to look at. I don't know, that's probably just me though. Your descriptive lauguage is wonderful !! Keep that up, it makes a good poet. The second one is better, probably because it's on a more specific subject, and you really describe what your talking about. Well, good job and WELCOME TO QUOTELAND!!

~♥Paige♥~