Okay, i don't really know why i'm posting this....it's just an odd little personal piece of prose i wrote when i was feeling a little down one day...i'm afraid it's probably not very good (though i've read and re-read it too many times and can't tell anymore...) but for some reason i'm posting it anyway. Criticisms, questions, comments all welcome!
A lover does not guarantee love, we know. If you had loved me, if I had loved you, you would be here. I would not be watching this heavy yellow moon sink in the thick, sullen sky, and thinking of you. Of that first night in the dark, in the sand, when at last we found each other. Of your eyes, your arms, your back, and the secrets in your face that only I saw. Of the way you said my name, the way you carried me home, and how safe I knew I was. Of walking with you arm in arm. Of sleeping outside and talking by starlight. Of that last, frantic night when we dared not sleep, when you said you were no good with emotions, but yes, you would too. Of the way you left – a last kiss, a face in the window of a disappearing car, perhaps later a rumble in the sky and a black silhouette, heading for the blue of the sea and the land beyond. Yes, if you had loved me, I would not be remembering these things alone from my window, above the glittering lights of the city, beneath the sad sigh of the moon. And if I had loved you... But perhaps this is love. This hole, this shadow, this sad glimmer in the eye of the moon. And perhaps you too are looking and thinking and remembering, remembering our summer. Perhaps you too are wondering if I am thinking of you.
I thought this was very good. This is the kind of prose I like, the personal kind, that's like a letter to someone. It was very wistful, sad, and yearning - and poetic. Very good writing, keep posting more!
How many couples who are perfectly meant for one another lose out on the chance of a lifetime simply because they never admitted to their true feelings?
That old cliche' comes to mind....we don't know what we had until it's gone.
I shall ponder on your piece for a very long time.
You have a lovely way with words!
Thank you for sharing them... PJ
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance - e e cummings
Posts: 1976 | Location: On a tree branch.....way up high. | Registered: 11-12-02
I'm speechless. Nearly crying, truth be told. But I'm half happy for you, half sad for me if you understand... ...Things have to end. I'm dealing with that right now. How to end something with someone. I may need your advice, I'll email you regarding that... This was beautiful and wonderful, this was an essence of you pouring out onto the page, and I think that is why it is so beautiful. You never fail to stun me. Neither it seems does your writing.
Fuzzies...
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Sole property of ~Twister~.
'Keep up the __insert_suitable_adjective_here___ work!'
All i have to say is WOW!!! that was excellent. it is alittle sad but captures everything that most people want...exxcept for him driving away and leaving you of coures. Liralen
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance - e e cummings
