For solitude amnesic to resolve,
Allegiance unrenowned thence incorrupt --
The prayer a sin? Chasten me... My Love.
Bah! For someone trivial to pluck;
This one evokes a sovereign childhood
Wherein, alone, I framed my scaffolding
On foreign regolith, mounted and stood
Not knowing Earth nor her fidelity
Nor you. Unmatched but by expanse, the grid
The mind's skin, I invoke his asterism
To standing exaltation's internid:
Skin to fulfill, potential, reenvision;
Then fall to consciousness amid the slough.
Alas, gods don't come trivial enough.


-
I'm a hack. *quack quack* I'm a hack. *quack quack*
And I can't write worth a duck's butt crack. *quack quack*
It's a shitty stinking night when I stay up and write and think it might
be fine enough to fill with fluff the tight spaces 'tween the stuff,
which itself ain't worth the damn duck's shite. *quack quack*

Interesting - it'll take a while for the meaning to sink in (it's very early), but quite an effort.

And a sonnet, to boot. (You know, no one writes them anymore.)

But while your rhymes are very unusual and mature, I can't figure out scaffolding/infidelity.

-----
What's done can not be undone.
Lady MacB

It's ten thirty, far too early for poetry as complicated as this, but i tried and i enjoyed it.
I have a little trouble getting around the meaning, but that may be just me...
Well written and with many words which sent me scrambling through my trusty dictionary...
Keep up the good work!
Fuzzies!

"The tune will come to you at last when all are one and one is all, to be a rock and not to roll" -Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin.

Edit: YAY!

[This message was edited by Fuzziesareourfriends on 10-27-02 at 06:00 PM.]

Wow! This very personal and arduous work had me thinking for awhile.

My conclusion;asterisms are very pretty,aren't they?

Although I admit it is above me,
I read it through a couple of times just to hear the words roll around on my tongue.

We are all captives of the picture in our head -- our belief that the world we have experienced is the world that really exists.~Walter Lippman

Still working on the meaning of this one. It was fun to read out loud. Could this be a type of Dada poetry? Probably not. So, you stay up nights too... *quack quack*

I apologize in case I was rude not to reply to your replies.


rhon831:

I felt that I could rely on assonance -- and in the case of scaffolding/fidelity the d/t alveolar stops. Not quite?


Fuzzies:

Yay.

You wondered about the meaning. The story progresses from dissatisfaction to "disloyal" fascination and sexual desire and, inevitably, ends with disenchantment. Blame my temperament... (Care for a mint?)


Grneyes3737:

Thanks. Asterisms are just that. As justice would have it, both "objects" remain far, far away.


I'mNothingNoOne:

Hi.. Is that an eggplant with an ear?