Blood has stained my clothes, my hands, my soul.
The steel in my hand feels like an extension of my body.
The trigger rubbing against my finger.
The coldness of the metal heated by the firing of the bullets
You say you love me and say you always cared.
You must think I am stupid, I won't fall for that lie.
Your screaming dulling my own pain.
My anger coming from my heart to my finger through the trigger to the bullet and then to your heart.
My hate comes from my soul into yours through the second shot.
I had nothing left to give the blood all over my face.
Red is tainting my soul.
I lived on from that moment in a pain worse then the one I gave away.
The torment is following me.
Your screams now only increase my pain.
My feelings out of control.
I take the same piece of steel.
The clicking of the chamber echoed in my ears
BANG! one shot one life no scream.
Crash of the hammer silencing it all.
I took your life, and then you claimed mine.

@~`~,~I am The Lost Soul of Fate, Pray that I dont find you~~^~@

[This message was edited on 04-21-03 at 03:33 PM.]

[This message was edited on 04-21-03 at 09:50 PM.]

I'll address only spelling/grammar/typo errors in this reply, rather than content.

Blood has stained my cloths, This should be CLOTHES

through the second shoot. Do you mean second SHOT here?

My hate comes form my soul-- FROM my soul

I lived on form that moment-- again, should be FROM

Good job...just needs a little proofreading/editing.



"The space between what's wrong and right is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you" Dave Matthews

fixed what you said needed fixing thanks. I usally miss things like that. now I just hope poeple will think its better then it was, thats if poeple thought it was good.

@~`~,~I am The Lost Soul of Fate, Pray that I dont find you~~^~@

I think its good, disturbing, but good none the less.

Disturbing, yes. But then again I have a twisted mind, so it didn't bother me. It was easy for me to imagine the whole shooting concept, because I watched Black Hawk Down three times today. Nice work.



The Home of Sage:
http://hometown.aol.com/darksouldarklyfe/index.html

It was emotional, desturbing (spelling) and moving all at the same time - I liked it. <-- He's meant to be baffled [spelling - again)

~Born to Shimmer~

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
- I believe I can fly - R. Kelly

Thank you all for your replys and comments. This came out of no where, I had the feeling to write, watched some moves, then sat down and wrote. I myself find it alittle disturbing aswell. lol.

@~`~,~I am The Lost Soul of Fate, Pray that I dont find you~~^~@