Note: Words in italics from song by Reba called If I had Only Known
Folded carefully in my bed of memories there sits a girl, a sister, a friend and blurry is my vision, as i stretch to catch one more glimpse of you If I had only known, It was our last walk in the rain I would have kept you out for hours in the storm
I want to let the world know how lucky I am to have known you to have loved you and been loved by you. as I write these words, I know they arent enough and I know you'd be the first to tell me that they are. I would hold your hand Like a life line to my heart Underneath the thunder we'd be warm If I had only known It was our last walk in the rain
Fragments of our conversations like to come and slap me in the face knocking me right off my feet, I grab on so tightly to each one, it's never [never] enough. If I had only known I'd never hear your voice again I'd memorize each thing you ever said And on those lonely nights I could think of them once more Keep your words alive inside my head If I had only known I'd never hear your voice again
i keep searching for the words that might equal you and i have yet to find them So dear sister, I apologize for the lacking, aching hole in this poem it's missing one essential thing, you. It was your voice And your words of wisdom that kept me from falling, forever into darkness and your laughter that was worth waking up to You were the treasure in my hand You were the one who always stood beside me
Up until the end, my hope was strong and i told you. and I promised you forever [why did I promise you forever?] and you let me believe you let me believe in forever. So unaware I foolishly believed That you would always be there But then there came a day And I turned my head and you slipped away
There was so much I didnt say So much, I am afraid You didnt know. There were stories left to tell and memories and moments left to share. [why didnt I know?] If I had only known It was my last night by your side I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn And when you'd smile at me I would look into your eyes And make sure you know my love For you goes on and on
Stupidly, I hung up I let you go with a simple 'i love you' and that, that will never be enough. Oh Sister, oh friend If I had only known If I had only known The love I would've shown If I had only known
I would have never said goodbye If I had only known it was.
always ~ duDette (kari) ~~~~****~~~~ I found your picture today I swear I'll change my ways I just called to say I want you to come back home I just called to say, I love you come back home (Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock)
_____________________________ Stella Splendens December 22, 1985-March 27, 2003 RIP
[This message was edited on 06-12-03 at 01:31 PM.]
sigh i wish my response could be more, but i can't seem to find the words...feeling your pain as i read...tears fall stay strong Kari...i'm sure she knew how much you cared for her and how much you loved her...
~Always~ Leslie
"All that we see or seem, Is but a dream within a dream." -Edgar Allan Poe
Posts: 414 | Location: England, UK | Registered: 03-13-03
I want to let the world know how lucky I am to have known you to have loved you and been loved by you. as I write these words, I know they arent enough and I know you'd be the first to tell me that they are.
It is enough that these words should even be conceived, that they should be brought into existence by one person and written about another, she knows Kari, she knows and she loved us (always).
best wishes, with love, Hope {Grant}
I found your picture today I swear I'll change my ways I just called to say I want you to come back home I just called to say, I love you come back home (Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock)
Stella Splendens December 22, 1985 - March 27, 2003 RIP
Posts: 1774 | Location: Devon, England | Registered: 02-04-02
So unaware I foolishly believed That you would always be there But then there came a day And I turned my head and you slipped away
duDette,
This was heart-wrenching and so beautiful. Grant is right kari - she knows and she loves you and she is right there, listening to you when you call out to her. Don't stop holding on. Big hugs, and thank you for sharing..
--------Sanya--------
Stella Splendens December 22, 1985-March 27, 2003 Rest In Peace --- I found your picture today I swear I'll change my ways I just called to say I want you to come back home I just called to say, I love you come back home (Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock)
Posts: 2568 | Location: Middle of Nowhere | Registered: 04-12-02
I'm glad to see that you've found words, and that you've shared them with us. In the week following her death, so many (including myself) wrote on here, describing what this meant for ourselves as members of this community. But it always felt a little wrong to me, because many of those who knew her best wrote nothing, shared nothing. I'm glad to see that you've found words, however imperfect you may feel them to be.
Myself, I've written nothing since that week. I think I understand now why you did not quickly post. Something's changed. While I do not claim to empathize with your perspective on Stella and her death, I do sympathize. Thank you for sharing this with us, and with her. She was lucky, in some ways. I want to know when I die that I've impacted lives, and Stella can have no doubt of that, reading pieces such as this. Very emotional, and above all truthful. Stella loved honest poems, so I have no doubt that she loves this one. Thank you for writing, and for sharing.
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." - Jack Kerouac, On the Road
It took me a while to get the nerve (?, maybe the words were missing) to reply to this. I wanted to pick one part out, but I can't. I just can't pick which stanza I agree with more. I'll try to pick some fave lines though.
Folded carefully in my bed of memories there sits a girl, a sister, a friend and blurry is my vision, as i stretch to catch one more glimpse of you
as I write these words, I know they arent enough and I know you'd be the first to tell me that they are.
So dear sister, I apologize for the lacking, aching hole in this poem it's missing one essential thing, you. It was your voice And your words of wisdom that kept me from falling, forever into darkness and your laughter that was worth waking up to You were the treasure in my hand You were the one who always stood beside me
and I promised you forever [why did I promise you forever?] and you let me believe you let me believe in forever. So unaware I foolishly believed That you would always be there But then there came a day And I turned my head and you slipped away
There was so much I didnt say So much, I am afraid You didnt know. There were stories left to tell and memories and moments left to share. [why didnt I know?]
And I'll leave it at that. I love you mi hermanita, thank you.
Harv Stella Splendens December 22, 1985-March 27, 2003
Posts: 4506 | Location: Earth, Milky Way | Registered: 11-29-01
New user here; but i wuz alwayz reading all of your posts and others. Ur poem realli hit me; dunt have da wordz 2 describe it. Trying 2 pik out just one part of da poem dat i realli lyked; but everythingz soo good. Good isnt even the word 4 it; itz just soo deep and it touches ppl; well; it touched me. Keep up da great work; and im sure she knew how much u luved her.
