Even if they're already on this board, I honestly don't mind. I love a good laugh. I may know a few, but I've heard them so long ago I forgot them (don't you hate it when that happens?). Thanks a bunch!!! -Robyn M
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.-Jerry Seinfeld
Pizza is not a matter of life or death. It is more important than that.
--Village Inn Pizza, Jackson, Tennessee ---------------------------------------
We will sell no wine before its time.
--Orson Wells, Advertisement for Paul Masson Wine (Paul Masson wine is not aged.) --------------------------------------------
Life is too short to drink lousy coffee. --Dunkin Doughnuts (Life is too short to eat lousy doughnuts too.) -----------------------------------------------
It’s a wise woodsman who knows what’s biting him. --Richard P. Frisbie
I’ve been a-scratching and an-itching cause the chiggers are a-biting. I’ve been an-itching and a-scratching and a-cussing and a-bitching. --P.Delta, 2008
Posts: 2643 | Location: The Volunteer State | Registered: 06-25-03
While pondering the question of this topic it has occurred to me that I have forgotten a great many things that I have heard that strike me as humorous.
Rodney Dangerfield once said; “My wife has cut me down to having sex only twice each month. That’s not too bad, I heard of a couple of other guys that she has cut out completely.”
One day when I was in college I was sitting in a dorm room with some friends. The subject of country music came up as a pathetic country music song was playing on the radio.
Denny said; “There is something about country music that makes me want to sit down and cry.”
David said; “There is something about country music that makes me want to bend over and throw up.”
I said: There is something about country music that makes me want to growl like a bear and then fart and die.
Posts: 2643 | Location: The Volunteer State | Registered: 06-25-03
Starkle, starkle, little twink, Who the hell you are I think, I'm not under what they call The alcofluence of incohol. I'm not drunk as thinkle peep, I'm just a little slort of sheep. Tee martoonis make a guy Fool so feelish, don't know why Rally don't know who's me yet The drunker I stay the longer I get So just one more to full my cup, I've all day sober to Sunday up.
--Author Unknown
Posts: 2643 | Location: The Volunteer State | Registered: 06-25-03
I am going to close this thread now, as I really think that short of doing a search here on Quoteland, for further quotes of which there are many. Phantom Delta has provided you with what you asked for.
The thread has been open now for some time, and I think you must have seen the response, although you have not replied once to PD to thank him.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -- George Bernard Shaw: (1856-1950) English dramatist, critic.
