What’s happening to me and what I use to be so happy I was just pleased to be me I look in the mirror and what do I see its only some girl but she isn’t me this girl doesn’t do any thing like me this girl isn’t happy in reverse of me every time I look she’s always there I’m loosing my mind or could this be real who am I, and who is this girl I see could this girl be me but how could that be we have absolutely nothing in common what’s happening to me the real me, the old me I look in the mirror I see her again why is this girl always looking at me we stare and we look for what seems like an hour still wondering is this girl me everyday that I look it never changes she always appears never late but always on time until I walk away thinking Is that girl really me???
God has blessed you with a talent Now bless others with your words
Posts: 2 | Location: college park, ga, usa | Registered: 09-27-07
I really like this poem. One suggestion is, with the lines "I'm loosing my mind/Or could this be real" I think you might mean "I'm losingmy mind". Or if you did mean setting your mind loose, it might work better as "I'm loosing my mind . . . could this be real?"
Posts: 185 | Location: Perth, Australia | Registered: 04-19-08
I really liked this. It had a really nice flow. All though, I did notice the same thing that Rala had. Either way you wanted to do it. It still had a very nice ring.