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Here it is:
Twelve Ways of Looking at and Listening to a Clarinet
I A silver tinseled tree, the yellow reed its star, the red brown bark smooth and shiny.
II Squawk stick, raspy whispering, weak
III A rifle, with holes down the top, and one on the bottom, and strange firing keys, the only ammunition the notes
IV Warm chocolate chalumeau, silky smooth and warm, enfolding in the dark notes.
V Down the barrel, shades of light in the forest penetrate the tone holes, and at the end of the tunnel, a circle of the floor.
VI The clarion, melodic and graceful, cool and refreshing.
VII The holes and keys flow beneath fingers, up and down the scales, muscle memory takes over, I don’t even look down anymore.
VIII Altissimo, bright and beautiful, screaming and scraping, as fingernails down a chalkboard
IX “What a funny looking saxophone you have there” “Why thank you, it’s actually a clarinet” “But looks like that thing Kenny G. plays.” “No. It doesn’t.” “Well, only girls play the clarinet.” “What about Benny Goodman? Or Artie Shaw? Or Stanley Drucker?” “Oh, well, okay”
X Vibrant vibrato, wailing the blues, hot jazz and flying fingers.
XI My beautiful bane, sinister salvation, hope and hell in one five pound object
XII Conical, musical, lyrical, technical, beautiful.
'Wisdom comes to all of us. Someday it might even be your turn.' -Polgara the Sorceress "Music is the space between the notes" Claude Debussy
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