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How to Dress a Snapping Turtle (locked per author's request)
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Quoteland Neo-Geezer
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Picture of Phantom_Delta
posted
How to Dress a Snapping Turtle

By P.H. Delta

If you have never eaten the meat of a snapping then you are probably in an overwhelming majority of Americans. It was never served as table fare in my family home. Snapping turtle is said to have a unique similarity of flavors of a variety of meats. Some say it contains the flavors of seven different meats. Well one day I caught my first snapping turtle on a catfish jug on the lake at my old Kentucky home. My curiosity of the rumors of the similar flavors enticed me to slaughter the turtle so I might dress it for the stew pot. The second thing I did after I shot the turtle in the head was to call one of my friends to ask him how to dress it. After I got his advice I commenced to follow his instructions:

#1 Take a stick and put it in the mouth of the turtle. (The dead
turtle will lock its jaws on the stick and not let go. This prevents the
turtle from biting you while you continue to butcher it.)

#2 Get a hammer, two nails and a wooden board.

#3 Turn the turtle on its back and put one nail through the throat and
another tail through the tail. (This keeps the turtle intact while you
butcher it.)

#4 Take a Rambo knife and separate the lower shell from the upper
shell.

#5 Everything that looks like viscera should be removed. (It may be
difficult to tell what are viscera and what is meat because it may all
appear to be viscera.)

#6 Everything that looks like meat should be cut loose from the shell.

#7 Take a hatchet and chop the feet and head from the legs and neck.

#8 Take a knife and remove the inner tenderloin from the vertebra cage
along the inside of the upper shell. (You will have a strip of white
meat that is approximately 5 inches long and a half an inch wide. This
is said to be the very best part of the turtle.


My efforts to butcher my first snapping turtle were an overwhelming
success. I lost not a finger or a thumb. I put the meat into a crock pot
and added some spices and seasoning ant let it simmer on low for six
hours. When I sat down to eat snapping turtle I began with some of the
red meat. It tasted remarkably similar to rabbit. Another portion of
the meat tasted like frog legs. Another portion of the meat reminded
me of bear meat. Overall, most of the meat was likened to fish or frog
legs. The tenderloin was fried separately and it tasted almost
identical to lobster.

Well if you have never tried snapping turtle then you don’t have to because turtle taste like anything but turtle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snapping_turtle

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Aeras,
 
Posts: 3458 | Location: The Volunteer State | Registered: 06-25-03Report This Post
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And they say the Chinese eat everything. Eek

I think this post would be very interesting to read, were I anyone else.

It's hard not to think of my own turtle being butchered like that while reading the passage, so that marred my enjoyment more than a little.

That should teach me not to read a recipe that includes a favourite animal of mine. (turtles/ tortoises/ terrapins)
I need to go hug my three reptiles now. Razz

#1 Take a stick and put it in the mouth of the turtle. (The dead
turtle will lock its jaws on the stick and not let go. This prevents the
turtle from biting you while you continue to butcher it.)

#3 Turn the turtle on its back and put one nail through the throat and
another tail through the tail. (This keeps the turtle intact while you
butcher it.)


I thought the turtle is dead to begin with?


"Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry, without a certain unsoundness of mind."
- Thomas Babington Macaulay
 
Posts: 376 | Location: It's a fine city. | Registered: 01-07-05Report This Post
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I thought the turtle was dead to begin with?

A dead snapping turtle has very dangerious reflexive potential to bite after it is dead. It has been said that if a turtle bites you it won't unlock its jaws until it thunders.

Nailing the turtle to a board is a precaution to disable any reflexive movement.

When I was a kid I was told that frog legs would kick around in the pan when you put them in a skillet of hot grease. I can remember the first time that I saw this happen. It struck me as funny. LOL Frog legs taste like a combination of fish and chicken.

The hair of the bear is as black as the night.
But the blood of the beast is as red as its meat.
 
Posts: 3458 | Location: The Volunteer State | Registered: 06-25-03Report This Post
Quoteland Titan
Picture of EeyoreLynn
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I swear I replied to this, and to a few other works...

When I stared to read it, I was thinking of dressing as in putting on clothes... Roll Eyes





"I'm telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they say, 'It's only Eeyore, so it doesn't count.'
They walk to and fro saying, 'Ha ha!' But do they know anything about A? They don't.
It's just three sticks to them. But to the Educated - mark this, little Piglet- to the Educated,
not meaning Poohs and Piglets, it's a great and glorious A." --Eeyore, The House at Pooh Corner
 
Posts: 4696 | Registered: 01-13-02Report This Post
Quoteland Titan
Picture of Harv
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I think this is fun and cute, but i would change the end line....

Well if you have never tried snapping turtle then you don’t have to because turtle taste like anything but turtle.


to

Inconclusion, if you have never tried snapping turtle (etc) for no reason that I like the way it sounds together with the rest of the story.

and:

Snapping turtle is said to have a unique similarity of flavors of a variety of meats. Some say it contains the flavors of seven different meats.

Is a wee bit redundant. Maybe consolidate the two sentences?

-Harv
Stella Splendens
December 22, 1985-March 27, 2003
 
Posts: 4507 | Location: Earth, Milky Way | Registered: 11-29-01Report This Post
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Ah Thank Ya Vara Much!

I'll see if I can fix it.


Snapping turtle is said to have a unique similarity of flavors of a seven different meats.

If you have never tried snapping turtle then I would suggest that you should not attempt to dress one. Just go to the Red Lobster and order some fish and lobster tail. Big Grin

(I just went to all that trouble to sastify my own curiosity.)

"The road to truth is long and paved the entire way with annoying bastards."
 
Posts: 3458 | Location: The Volunteer State | Registered: 06-25-03Report This Post
Junior Member
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I have never dressed for the animals.I just like to make changeable hair styles with..........

sad or what!!!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mrs. Micawber,
 
Posts: 1 | Registered: 01-05-14Report This Post
Quoteland Demigod
Picture of Trader
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Changeable hair styles with curly short wigs? THAT has to be the most pathetic spam leap of all time.
 
Posts: 5765 | Location: Lotusland | Registered: 11-24-01Report This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Trader:
Changeable hair styles with curly short wigs? THAT has to be the most pathetic spam leap of all time.


I am new to this forum and I want to know some best and fashionable

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mrs. Micawber,
 
Posts: 2 | Registered: 01-25-14Report This Post
Quoteland Demigod
Picture of Trader
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quote:
Originally posted by pansofiawashington,:
I am new to this forum and I want to know some best and fashionable nursing tops to wear. Can anyone suggest me the best?


And you just happened to (by some miraculous coincidence) post a SPAM link for us to peruse and make our fashion expert picks from for you. Well - I don't doubt your sincerity in this post for a minute:, nay, a heartbeart! Thousands may, but not me (no siree, Bob!!!)

Obviously you didn't read the edit to your first post by our resident witch hunter Mrs. M. Suppose I'll say adios to you 'cuz I'm guessing your ass is now GONE from this site, toots.

Ron
...
 
 
 
 
Posts: 5765 | Location: Lotusland | Registered: 11-24-01Report This Post
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Hair extensions and hairpieces really can help to improve the looking of people and help to change them a lot hair extensions and hairpieces if choosing the right type and right style of hair wigs for you, of course that you will look and become more and more attractive and also buy cheap hair wigs now is easy as you can just get the ideal style that you want online at online shops now. I have just buy me a white wigs for women and it is perfect.
 
Posts: 1 | Registered: 06-18-14Report This Post
Quoteland Demigod
Picture of Trader
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Did somebody sneak in and attach a scum magnet to this thread?
 
Posts: 5765 | Location: Lotusland | Registered: 11-24-01Report This Post
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