Hi all,

This is a song that I have been toying with for a while. I figured may as well see who can help me with it. Cheers


Another Face:

The child forgotten on purpose,
Because dreams cannot buy,
Happiness on the surface,
Sugar for greedy eyes.

The cynic’s saying love is green,
And the dreamer has never been.
Innocence wonders what it means,
And the crowd wins, in the end.

Pretty walls, still a cage,
Number seven is all I know.
Count my steps across the stage,
I hope you all enjoy the show

The cynic says love is green
And the dreamer has never been
Innocence wonders what it means
The crowd wins, in the end.

Begging time for a little more,
A little hit to get me through.
A chance to feel the sand on the shore,
And take hold of what is true

The cynic says love is green
And the dreamer has never been
Innocence wonders what it means
The crowd wins, in the end.

Look down,
The limit is before the sky,
For you.
Those arms wont help you fly,
Away.
Never think to question why.
Those answers burn.

The cynic says love is green
And the dreamer has never been
Innocence wonders what it means
The crowd wins, in the end.

Without reading what Aeras wrote, too many commas.

The child forgotten on purpose,
Because dreams cannot buy,
Happiness on the surface,

The comma after buy, interups the flow, I pause without needed to. But maybe music is different.

I hope you all enjoy the show.

And the dreamer has never been
Innocence wonders what it means

I trip up with these two lines.

And take hold of what' s true. What's read better to me...


just my thoughts

"I'm telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they say, 'It's only Eeyore, so it doesn't count.' They walk to and fro saying, 'Ha ha!' But do they know anything about A? They don't. It's just three sticks to them. But to the Educated - mark this, little Piglet- to the Educated, not meaning Poohs and Piglets, it's a great and glorious A." --Eeyore, The House at Pooh Corner

Thankyou both for your comments. As this had sat in this forum for so long without being commented on I just left it as is and posted it to poetry. (I did forget to close this one off). I have however taken into account your comments and adjusted it slightly as per your advice.

Aeras, 'the child fogotten on purpose' is meant to refer to the child inside, the part of you with all the hope and wide eyed anticipation of what is ahead. The part that dares to dream and thinks that things can happen. The rest of the verse goes on to explain how the child is left behind because of greed.

The second line of the chorus is supposed to read 'the dreamer has never been' rather than just 'dream'. I hope that clears up the meaning, if not let me know.

I have changed the small parts in the verses as per your other comments, thank you for that.

I guess with the second last stanza I am thinking more of the way I would sing it rather than trying to go by a rhyme scheme. The last line is supposed to be a long held note leading back into the chorus.

Thankyou again for your help.

EyyoreLynne, I guess the same as above applies to the first verse. Thinking more of how I would sing it rather than how people read it. I have taken out the extra commas.

Thankyou also for your comments.

Cheers