Daybreak



Riding
on a soft breeze
wreathed in mist
and sodden frost,
morning stirs
from the depths
of the night.
A very quiet night,
sleeping deeply
as if sleep
is completely
someplace else
other than here.

Cranberry cinders
define the clouds
in the east
then thaws
and smothers
the land
in a hint of lavender
and fiery pastiche.


Cold seeps,
like a frigid sap,
oozing,
creeping,
gossiping,
unabatedly,
unashamedly.
Spun frost
mingle with
the night's breath
forming little smoky
clouds that drift
and huddle
in the trees,
the gossamer webs,
the lolling leaves
and droopy panicles.

Awake
in this serenity,
in half-light,
and half-shadow,
I slowly breathe
the timelessness,
I expectantly
savor the splendor
I serenely
welcome the hope
and,
unabashedly leave
the humorlessness
the indifference
and the despair
of the night
in the quiet
of bidding time.



~NW

NW,

Throughout your first three stanzas you painted quite an interesting, and gentle/calm picture.

This poem also introduced me to two new words: pastiche; panicle. Thank you .

This was a very interesting way to portray insomnia. Even your title lends well (after the fact) to indicating the panoply of errant and diverse thoughts that course through a sleepless mind.

Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the imagery.

Thanks A.

I think you know by now...insomnia visits are quite frequent...I always welcome the daybreak that gives me the shuteye...ZZZZZZZ....


N...zzzzzzz....W

Wow, great images NW. I especially like the third stanza. I would consider dropping "other than here" last line in first stanza. It seems redundant to me. Great job!

This is one of the most beautiful pieces I have read on here! I will need to give you my highest word of praise: "Exquisite!" I esp. like the entire 2nd stanza: The wonderful word choices and the "oozing, creeping..." sequence. The single word per line works perfectly here. One little nitpick:

quote:

Spun frost mingle with
the night's breath

Shouldn't it be spun frost mingleS ? Aside from that, this is a new favorite of mine! Nice job! ~~lb~~

Thank you very much LB. Thanks for the correction, I'd rather have it frosts mingle than frost mingles because the other lines go with the plural also.


Thanks Harry T, I quite agree that it is redundant. I will have to put that on the final draft. Thanks a lot.



NW

love it
dsk

NW,

I quite like this. Excellent word-choice, as usual. Especially the first seven lines of stanza three.

As a very minor tweak, I felt that the final stanza might flow better if you swapped 'of half-light' for 'in half-light'. But, as always, that is only a random thought for the artist to weigh and determine with his own superior counsel.


Jeremiah



Awake,
in this serenity
of half-light,
and half-shadow,
I slowly breathe in
the timelessness;
...

Jeremiah,

Thanks for the input.
I would most certainly weight it in and apply it in my final draft. Thanks again.


NW