If I was to write a poem every time I was down
Or every time the sun was shining
I’d have to write one almost every day.
But this is the first poem like this
That I have ever written
Because I fell in love with you today.

I could sing of memories
Or cry of losses
Or of people gone astray
But never once have I sung like this before
Because I fell in love with you today.

I have smiled many smiles
And danced to many songs
I have even failed at keeping laughter at bay
But now I do all three at once
Because I fell in love with you today.

I have also cried many tears
And felt enough pain
I have countless times lost my way
But all of these don’t scare me as much
Because I fell in love with you today.

The nightfall does not bother me
And neither does the silence
I can now enjoy it anyway
I have thought to fill the calm
Because I fell in love with you today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So desperately I sing to thee of love,
Sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self,
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf,
I've tried well no in fact I lied...
(Hook, Blues Travelers)

If I was to write a poem, every time I was down
Or every time the sun was shining
I’d have to write one almost every day.
But this is the first poem like this
That I have ever written
Because I fell in love with you today.

I could sing of memories
Or cry of the losses
Or of people gone astray
But never once have I sung like this
Because I fell in love with you today.

I have smiled many smiles
And danced too many songs
I've even failed at keeping laughter at bay
But now I do all three at once
Because I fell in love with you today.

I have also cried many tears
And felt just enough pain
I have countless times lost my way
But all of these don’t scare me as much
Because I fell in love with you today.

The nightfall does not bother me
And neither does the silence
I can now enjoy it anyway
I have thought to fill the calm
Because I fell in love with you today.

Just a few suggestions...I could be totaly out of line in suggesting these, but it just felt to me that the poem would flow more freely if you added these. Otherewise, I loved the poem. Very upbeat and I can see the emotions the person in the poem is feeling clear as day. Divine. Keep it up.

Pain, pain go away
Let me smile for just one day
And if that day I never see
Let my blood run cold and free

~*¤Lauren¤*~

bay- day- anyway- astray- way and today: I see some fine rhyming there, while reading the poem it seems nice to me.
If I was to write a poem every time I was down
Or every time the sun was shining
I’d have to write one almost every day.
But this is the first poem like this
That I have ever written
Because I fell in love with you today.
-The first stanza is the only psrt that I don't like much. Try cutting out one line maybe; out of the first two? Anyway this is the only six-line stanza...rest have five...so think about that; though that's just my thought.

I could sing of memories
Or cry of losses
Or of people gone astray
But never once have I sung like this before
Because I fell in love with you today.
-I like these lines.

The last line of each stanza being same; lends a certain (positive) effect to the poem. The title is suitable.

I have smiled many smiles
And danced to many songs
I have even failed at keeping laughter at bay
But now I do all three at once
Because I fell in love with you today.


~Not writing for friendship, not reading by the name;
I now play in the Writers' Clubs, impartially for the writing game..~
-me, Letswriteandshare. For more information on this signature click on the link to my poem (need not reply, just read) that I provide ahead: Bias.

[This message was edited on 05-05-03 at 06:55 PM.]

All I have to say is...
VERY AWESOME, VERY SENTIMENTAL POEM!!
I loved it!

Tamara aka LovelyRyan's Girl

"I want to keep my own definition of myself. I don't ever want to feel that I've evaporated into somebody else's idea of me" -Meg Ryan

turn your frown upside down!