I found the quote by Sam Shepard as being said in 1943, but nothing further on SS or Tom Wolfe. His full name is Thomas Kennerly Wolfe, Jr. this might help you search futher. Sorry.
"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you." ~William Arthur Ward
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