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"Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies."

I see attributions on the internet but few citations.
 
Posts: 87 | Registered: 12-27-01Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Quoteland Demigod
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Did just a relatively quick search on this one and came up with a couple of pretty definite attributes to St. Augustine (354-430). One was very well researched and came from the Anglican Church - the other came from a site originating out of the Vatican that attributed this to him as far back as 1298. I couldn't really make out what particular incident, if any, this was cited to. But that's probably because the translation program on this computer leaves somewhat to be desired with Latin and not due to any ambiguity on the site.

Ron


...

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
~Mother Teresa (1910-1997)
 
 
Posts: 11052 | Location: Lotusland | Registered: 11-24-01Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The earliest "prototype" reference I have found is in the 1930s book, The Sermon on the Mount, by Emmet Fox:

No Scientific Christian ever considers hatred or execration to be “justifiable” in any circumstances, but whatever your opinion about that might be, there is no question about its practical consequences to you. You might as well swallow a dose of Prussic acid in two gulps, and think to protect yourself by saying, “This one is for Robespierre; and this one for the Bristol murderer” [who had previously been cited as objects of hatred]. You will hardly have any doubt as to who will receive the benefit of the poison.”

There are many variants of the quote and one of the oldest found was attributed to Alcoholics Anonymous: Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Fox's writings were popular in AA.

The TV show, "Criminal Minds," used the quote at the end of one its shows and attributed it to St. Augustine. I doubt the script writers do deep research on citations for the quotes they use. Bear in mind that many quotes are misattributed to famous people to make them more acceptable. Unless a specific citation can be found for Augustine, I doubt he said it. Also bear in mind that many quotes evolve over time from the most obscure sayings to what they are today.

Many references to this quote appear in self help books and from the 12 step tradition thus making the origin more questionable. To wit:

“In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”~Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith (1999)

Hanging on to a resentment, someone once said, is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill someone else.~Alice May, Surviving Betrayal (1999)

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.~Malachy McCourt (1998)

“Charles had once remarked that holding onto a resentment was like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”~Anne Lamotte, Crooked Little Heart (1997)

“I think resentment is when you take the poison and wait for the other person to die.”~M.T. A Sponsorship Guide for 12-Step Programs (1995)

When we hang on to resentments, we poison ourselves. As compulsive overeaters, we cannot afford resentment, since it exacerbates our disease.~Elizabeth L. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (1992)


* * *
Since we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our minds, our one duty is to furnish it well~Peter Ustinov
 
Posts: 20664 | Location: CT | Registered: 08-30-00Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Quoteland Titan
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Further to the above answers to your query;

1. Citation for the Emmet Fox quote;
Emmet Fox; “The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success in Life “
Copyright 1938 Published by Grosset & Dunlap
Page 80

2.A PDF of this book (also containing “The Lord’s Prayer: An Interpretation” by Fox) can be found here; http://harrykatz.com/Sermon/Se..._The_Mount_eBook.pdf

3. A bit more of the text before the quote that Zendam has provided:

“It cannot be too often repeated that to entertain feelings of anger, resentment, jealousy, spite, and so forth, is certain to damage your health”

“For the same reason, to entertain negative emotions is to order trouble--quite independently of any seeming justification that you may suppose yourself to have”.

“I once came across an old sermon that was delivered in London during the French Revolution. The author, who took an extremely superficial view of the Gospel, said, referring to the Sermon on the Mount: "Surely it is justifiable to hate the Arch-butcher, Robespierre, and to execrate the Bristol murderer." This pronouncement perfectly illustrates the fallacy that we have been considering. To entertain hatred is ipso facto to involve yourself in certain unpleasant results, and, as far as you are concerned, it will not make the faintest shadow of a difference whether you are attaching the label “Robespierre” or “Tom” or “Dick” or Harry” to the emotion concerned. The question whether the man, Robespierre, was a demon or an angel of light, has nothing whatever to do with the matter.
To indulge in a sense of execration of anyone, (quite irrespective of any deserts, or otherwise, in the object of your condemnation) is certain to bring trouble on your own head proportionate to the intensity of the feeling you entertain, and the number of times or minutes that you devote to it. No Scientific Christian ever considers hatred or execration to be “justifiable” in any circumstances, but whatever your opinion about that might be there is no question about its practical consequences to you. You might as well swallow a dose of prussic acid in two gulps, and think to protect yourself by saying, “This one is for Robespierre; and this one for the Bristol murderer.” You will hardly have any doubt as to who will receive the benefit of the poison.”


4. Another quote with a similar idea;

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
~Mitch Albom; The Five People You Meet in Heaven; The Third Lesson


***
They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
~William Shakespeare

 
Posts: 3509 | Location: Australia | Registered: 05-25-05Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Resentment is an awful emotion to experience.It just eats away your thoughts. If you are bothered by a constant state of anger, getting support from a counselor or practicing yoga would help a lot. Just read this blog- http://edgewoodhealthnetwork.c...g-let-go-resentment/ it tells about how to get rid of resentment. It is not that easy to do but it’s you who should take the decision not to let your life be ruined with any thoughts that makes you unhappy.
 
Posts: 2 | Registered: 01-06-17Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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